


The Inevitable Triumph

by psalmoflife



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Feelstide 2013, Gen, M/M, Pearl Harbor Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:03:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psalmoflife/pseuds/psalmoflife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is asked to tell his story at the USS Arizona Memorial on Pearl Harbor Day. He... doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Inevitable Triumph

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Feelstide 2013, Prompt 7: Steve and Pearl Harbor Day
> 
> Peggy is no longer alive at the time of this story, and it is implied that Steve did not see her after he woke up. 
> 
> Some background information: the USS Arizona sank during the attack on Pearl Harbor and was never raised or salvaged. The USS Arizona Memorial, operated by the US National Park Service, was built over the top of the ship. The memorial is accessed by shuttle boats which leave from the Visitor Center on shore. More information about the ship and the memorial can be found at the [NPS Website](http://www.nps.gov/valr/historyculture/index.htm).

Steve had a dilemma. 

As the public had gradually figured out (with a lot of help from grainy youtube videos) that the Captain America that fought in New York was the same Captain America that fought in World War II, he had been inundated with requests for various appearances - motivational speeches, awards ceremonies, movie cameos, and endorsements - so many that he quickly stopped trying to respond to them (hell, even read them) and took Tony up on his offer to let JARVIS deal with sorting the inquiries, on the off chance that something came up that was actually worthwhile.

So far he’d done a couple of small things, visited a children’s hospital and appeared in a PSA against bullying, and was scheduled to shoot an appeal for donations for the Philippines the next day, but by and large he was avoiding public appearances that seemed connected to his fighting pre-ice. He was happy to be recognized as an Avenger, someone who had fought Loki and the Chitauri, but his memories of Bucky, Peggy, and the Howling Commandos were still too painful.

But he thought that might have to change. 

\---

Steve was utterly unsurprised to find Clint in Phil’s office in the Tower. The men were still recovering from their prolonged separation following the Battle of New York, when Phil was thought dead, then in major surgery, followed by a coma and months of recovery. Clint had visited as much as he was able, but being in the sterile hospital environment surrounded by doctors hadn't been great for his mental health. They were only in their second week of being in their apartment in the Tower without the home nurses, and Clint was still in the habit of trailing Phil around in case he needed any help. 

“I have dilemma,” Steve said, flopping down in the chair next to Clint. “The National Park Services called to ask me to speak at a Pearl Harbor day event. They’re kicking off a new collection campaign, to get stories about the war, and they want a veteran to speak, and they think they’ll get more press if it’s me.” 

Clint and Phil exchanged a look. “They’re not wrong,” Phil said. “Did they say what they want you to speak about?” 

“Just my memories of the day, and the war, I guess,” Steve replied. “They weren't too specific. But a big focus of the collection is women’s role in the war, so I’m sure they’d expect me to talk about Peggy.” 

Both men took a minute to process that, Phil’s arms crossing over his chest, and Clint fiddling with the hole in the knee of his jeans. Steve tried not to bounce impatiently while they thought; one of the reasons that he valued their input was that they always took the time to think through their answers. 

“Your relationship with Peggy has never been officially confirmed,” Phil finally said. “There’s supposition, of course, everyone knows about her picture being in your compass and there are other rumors, but she and the Howling Commandos refused to talk about it.” 

There was a long pause, then Steve said, “And?” 

Clint shot Phil a knowing look and said, “He’s saying that you could just… not talk about Peggy. Or refer to her as a friend and fellow officer, rather than your lady-friend.” 

“Lady-friend?”

“Paramour? Sweetheart? Lover?” 

“Clint,” Phil sighed. “Stop helping.” Phil took a moment to gather his thoughts again, then said, “If your main concern is questions about Peggy, you can refuse to answer them. No one would blame you for wanting to keep that private.” 

“But what if I want to talk about her?” Clint and Phil both looked surprised. Steve was a little surprised himself. “I’m not going to get up and talk about- about the private stuff, but Peggy was an important person and I’d never have stopped Schmidt without her. She deserves to be remembered for that. And there were other women who were just as important, and no one knows about them because everyone was so focused on us men.” 

Phil made a thoughtful humming noise. Clint tapped his fingers against his mouth.

“Sounds like you've got some thinking to do,” Clint finally said. “But no matter what you do, the team’ll have your back, you know?” 

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

\---

The problem, Steve thought, wasn't that he had a problem talking about Peggy on Pearl Harbor Day. He didn't’t. The problem was that it would open himself up to talking about Peggy in other situations, in any other appearances or interviews he might give. 

And it wasn't that he didn't want to admit to his feelings for her, either. He wasn't going to get up and gush like the heroes in the romance films Clint watched on the sly and pretended not to like, but he was adult enough to say that he had admired her greatly, even loved her a little. It was that he felt like he barely knew Peggy. Their entire relationship had been tied up in ending the war so that they could have a normal life after it, and Peggy had gone on to that normal life without him. Everything he really knew about her was about Peggy the Soldier- nothing much about Peggy the Woman, or Peggy the Girlfriend, or even Peggy the Mother. 

And it was the missed opportunities that kept him up at night, more than anything. He missed Bucky every day, but at least he’d had Bucky’s friendship for years in peacetime. He felt like what he was missing with Peggy was a big question mark.

\---

Steve called up the organizers before he could change his mind and agreed to speak on Pearl Harbor Day.

As an afterthought, he called Tony and asked to borrow a plane. (He’d thought about flying commercial, but Clint’s complaints about leg room convinced him not to go there.) Tony agreed, on the condition that someone who hadn't previously flown a plane into the ocean be the pilot. 

Another visit to Phil’s office later had Clint filing the flight plan and Phil packing bags for both of them, reasoning that they might as well make a mini-vacation of it. Steve knew that there were other SHIELD agents, or Stark Industries employees, who could fly him to Hawaii, but he was glad to know that there would be a couple of familiar faces in the crowd. 

\---

December crept up on Steve. Thanksgiving was late in November and he’d gotten swept up in helping to prepare for the meal, then in the ensuing flurry of decorating the Tower for the holidays. It wasn't that he had forgotten about the trip, just that he had a moment of panic when Clint reminded him about their early flight time the next morning and Steve realized that he hadn't written his speech yet. 

Phil rode to Hawaii in the co-pilot’s seat, leaving the cabin to Steve, who curled up on one of the couches with a notepad and tried to sort out his thoughts. 

Forty-five minutes of doodling later, he admitted that he wasn't having any luck, and decided to take a nap instead.

\---

At 9:30am (Hawaii time, and super-soldier serum apparently did not help with jet lag) on December 7th, Steve boarded a small boat that would take him to the USS Arizona Memorial. Phil and Clint were following on a later boat with more of the guests, but someone at NPS, or possibly the Navy, had decided that he should have some extra time in the assembly room to acclimate and figure out the acoustics. 

He didn’t like to call the young woman escorting him a babysitter, but so far she’d talked him through the schedule (which he’d been sent ahead of time), the oral history project (which he’d also been briefed on), and the thirty-second spiel on the memorial itself (which he’d read online). She’d even pointed out the bathrooms. It was odd, after acclimating to the present by fighting with the Avengers and learning his way around modern New York City, to be catered to so extensively. 

Steve did appreciate the extra time to look around the memorial before the event began. It was simple, but powerful, and looking down at the hull of the ship immediately brought back memories of listening to the radio with Bucky, of hearing President Roosevelt’s speech about the day that would live in infamy and seeing the photos in the newspapers, on the front page for days after the attack. 

He lost track of time, staring into the water and thinking about December 1941, and before he knew it his babysitter was back by his side, leading him to the small group of people clustered near a podium, facing a decent-sized crowd and a whole bunch of cameras. 

He’d been introduced to the Navy officer who began the event, but he couldn't remember his name, either. The officer spoke briefly about the continued work of the Navy and the National Park Service to preserve the ship and to collect historical materials related to the attacks, and then said, “It is my great honor to welcome a veteran of World War II to kick off our collection of oral histories. Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Steven Rogers, better known as Captain America.” 

There was a loud burst of applause, and a whistle that Steve was pretty sure came from Clint. He replaced the Navy officer at the podium, and carefully arranged his doodle-covered paper on the podium. He’d never gotten around to writing down what he wanted to say, but he figured having the doodles visible might help calm his nerves. 

“Hello, everyone. It’s a great honor to be here today to recognize those who died 72 years ago today, as well as those who lived.” He found Phil and Clint in the crowd, and felt his shoulders relax a touch at the sight of the familiar faces. “I didn't serve at Pearl Harbor - this is my first time in Hawaii - but President Roosevelt was right when he said that the date would live in infamy. For better or worse, the events of December 7, 1941, changed my life. Changed everyone’s life.” 

Steve glanced down at his doodles, felt the corner of his mouth quirk up as he saw his rendering of Peggy’s smile. “I was asked to share my story today, but I think you all know my story. So I’m going to tell a different story, instead.”

Some of the people in the room looked alarmed, but Phil was smiling.

“Peggy Carter wasn't supposed to be a soldier. In my day, women were even more restricted than they are now. She was supposed to be in a support position, helping out on the home front. Instead she joined the Strategic Scientific Reserve and fought on the front lines. She was an incredible woman - an incredible friend. I’ll always miss her.”

Steve spent the next five minutes giving an overview of Peggy’s contributions to the SSR and the Howling Commandos. There was too much to tell in one speech, especially since he thought some of it was still classified, but he told them about her role in the selection process for serum candidates, about her chase after the Hydra operative who killed Erskine, about her presence in the firefight the night that he went down into the ice.

“Peggy’s story has gotten some media attention, but it’s mostly speculation about me. And I think that’s wrong. Peggy’s story deserves to be told. So do all the stories, of everyone who lived through the war, and especially all the women just like Peggy, who played such a huge role and never get any credit.” 

There were murmurs in the crowd, even in the cluster of people next to him, but Steve ignored them. Phil was still smiling, so he figured he was on the right track. 

“The United States Navy and the National Park Service want to hear those stories. They want to preserve them, so that all the Peggys, and the Buckys, and the Howards, they all get remembered. You all know my story - now I want to hear yours.” 

There was an awkward pause as everyone realized he was done speaking, then the applause started. And kept going. (Clint was whistling again.) 

Eventually someone from NPS took the microphone to finish the ceremony, echoing Steve’s call for oral histories and giving the url for the website explaining the other materials they were accepting. 

Steve zoned out for the rest of the ceremony, snapping back to attention at the very end to join in the final round of applause and the photocall for the speakers. By the time he finished with the PR stuff, Clint and Phil had been escorted back to the Visitor Center. Steve and his babysitter (he thought her name was Becky) were on one of the last boats back, and by the time he made it back to their hotel he just wanted to eat, shower, and sleep. 

\---

He ran into Phil early the next morning, when they both decided to watch the sun rise on the balcony while Clint went for a run.

It was a quiet moment, far less cluttered than the previous day, and when Phil quietly said, “She’d be proud,” Steve just said “Thanks.”


End file.
